History’s Challenge

Posted By on September 11, 2011

For almost thirty years, now, I have been like a man possessed when it comes to issues surrounding American and US Constitutional histories. Engage me in conversation and I can carry on for hours. Present an unanswered question and I will research, read, hunt and dedicate hours of my personal time to the effort of discovering the answer. Place me within easy driving distance of meaningful historic sites and I tirelessly visit them to place myself within the physical boundaries of the events; all the while striving in my mind’s eye to take myself back in time to see the sites and hear the sounds of those who walked those sacred grounds. Yes, I am passionate about this subject and it rivals and contends for my attention, attempting to become equal to my passion for my family.

Throughout the years I have been dogged by one recurring question. In the midst of the discoveries, peeking through the clamor of the multitudinous mass of documents, resources, books, websites, commentaries and preconceived notions it rings like a clarion within the recesses of my mind and thoughts. When a discovery reveals the answer to some perplexing and unanswered questions it raises its head, often like a serpent in the grass. As those discoveries begin to formulate, take shape and change whatever perspective may have previously existed, it – the question – lurks in the shadows like the panther in the nighttime jungle.

The time when the question finally presents itself within my thought processes varies, at times it is early in the procedure, while at others it is much later, just about the time I am preparing to verbalize the long sought answer. The question challenges me, provokes me and drives me to confirm again, and at length the validity of the unearthed treasure. The question drives me to test the voracity of the conclusion, or conclusions I am drawing. It slaps me, metaphorically speaking, into reality and seeks yet further affirmation of the revelation. It reasserts the need for my to test my motives, my attitudes and my psyche.

Who do I think that I am to make such claims which seem to run counter to the accept norms and positions of scholars? Am I so arrogant as to presume that I alone have discovered something hidden for centuries from the prying eyes of hundreds, if not thousands who have gone before me? Am I so deluded by some hidden propensity towards self-aggrandizement, a propensity that unconsciously compels me to “discover” things that don’t really exist?

After very careful consideration, and often thorough self-examination I believe I do not hold such self-important negative mental attitudes or motivations. If I did, why would this one question continue to haunt me through the years. Why would I be driven to such extremes as to continue to question myself, my motives and my attitudes? If I were so utterly arrogant and self-absorbed wouldn’t I be immune to this pariah of a question? If I were driven by an under lying sense of self-importance, wouldn’t my friends, my family and those who are most familiar with me, and have the freedom to speak to me about such issues warn me, challenge me and/or steer me towards a more correct perception as they often do on other fronts in my life?

Thus the question, or more accurately, questions, “Why me?” “Who do you think you are” Yes, why is that I discover these long hidden gems and treasures which so many have failed to connect in a meaningful manner? I confess to you, my reader, that I don’t believe I have been able to adequately answer these questions throughout the past three decades, and once again this morning, they confronted me, they challenged me, and now I’ve shared them with you. Can you help me in my inner struggle?

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